Getting Kids To Play! The Unstructured Play Approach

The Importance of Unstructured Play for Children

Do you need help getting your kids to play? In this article, we’ll explore the unstructured play approach. I'm Nicholeen Peck, and I teach parenting, good communication, building strong family bonds, child development, and education worldwide through the principle of self-government. Here, we'll delve into unstructured play, its benefits, and how you can encourage it in your children.

In recent generations, parents have become increasingly structured in managing their children’s playtime. The abundance of convenient tools and information has led to a heightened focus on structure, sometimes to an unhealthy extent. Let's discuss the balance between structured and unstructured play, why children need unstructured play, and how you can create opportunities for it.

Growing up, I spent hours playing in a field behind my house. Sure, there were some less-than-ideal moments—finding inappropriate magazines, dealing with mean kids, and occasional fights. However, most of our time was spent dreaming up ideas like building a clubhouse or creating a bike track. We didn’t always stick to our plans or succeed perfectly, but that was part of the adventure. For example, we'd find a tree with long spikes blocking our bike track, so we’d decide to de-spike the tree, often getting poked and bleeding in the process. But we learned a lot through these experiences.

Parents love checklists and seeing their children achieve and learn through play. However, all play leads to learning, just in different ways. Unstructured play might not always produce the expected outcomes, but it teaches valuable lessons. In our unstructured play, we learned about pruning trees, using tools, and sometimes, unfortunately, the consequences of harming nature. These experiences, though sometimes harsh, were instrumental in our development.

There’s a significant concern about children hurting animals or engaging in destructive behavior, leading parents to control playtime more strictly. While it’s important to guide children, we shouldn't over-manage their play. I had deep sorrow and learned valuable lessons from the mishaps with our frogs. These experiences, while drastic, taught me responsibility and empathy.

So why is there a strong attraction to structured play? A study from the 1960s highlighted the benefits of structure for children, noting that they thrive in structured environments. However, taking structure too far can stifle the natural structure children create during their own play. Unstructured play allows children to learn cause and effect and navigate social boundaries on their own. While we fear situations like crossing sexual boundaries, we must prepare our children to handle such situations through discernment and teaching rather than overprotection.

The Free Range Parenting movement advocates for giving children independence, which has its merits and drawbacks. While I wouldn’t send a 10-year-old on a bus alone today, I do allow my children to engage in activities like chopping wood or hiking independently. These experiences teach confidence and problem-solving skills.

Unstructured play is not just about play; it encompasses unstructured work and experiences too. Every learning opportunity can be considered play. For instance, building a clubhouse might be the most enjoyable part, not playing in it. This type of work is actually unstructured play, where children learn and have fun simultaneously.

To foster unstructured play, create a culture that encourages daring and creativity in your family and community. Allow children to take risks and be a bit rebellious. This means accepting that their efforts may not always be perfect, but valuing their initiative and creativity. Celebrate their achievements, even if the outcome isn’t ideal.

For more ideas on encouraging unstructured play, check out my video "10 Ways to Create Opportunities for Unstructured Play," where I share practical tips to get your child more engaged in unstructured activities.

Unstructured play is crucial for children’s development, offering them a chance to learn, grow, and explore independently. By embracing this approach, you can help your children develop important life skills and foster a sense of adventure and creativity.