Proof For Abigail Shrier’s Book "Bad Therapy"

Bad Therapy: A Look Through the Lens of Self-Government
Hello, I'm Nicholeen Peck, a parenting expert focused on fostering good communication, strong family bonds, and lasting connections through the principles of self-government. Today, I want to discuss Abigail Schreier's book, Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up, and what we can glean from it.

When I first encountered Bad Therapy, I was skeptical. The title alone made me question its usefulness. However, knowing Schreier's reputation for thorough research and fearless declarations, I decided to delve in. While I don't agree with everything Schreier concludes, the majority of her points resonate with me, particularly her insights on the negative impacts of modern therapy on children.

One of Schreier's main arguments is that today's therapy culture is damaging children by encouraging them to withdraw from their support networks, particularly their families. She asserts that this withdrawal is often spurred by non-directive psychotherapy, which lacks the structure necessary for developing minds. Schreier argues that children are seeking structure elsewhere, sometimes in extreme movements, because they are not receiving it from their parents or therapists.

From my experience teaching self-government, I can attest to the need for structure and responsibility in a child's life. Schreier and I agree on the necessity of unstructured play, direct parenting, and allowing children to fail and solve their own problems. These are key components of maturing into a responsible adult. However, I disagree with her stance on spanking as a disciplinary method. While Schreier and others, like Jordan Peterson, may view spanking as an effective traditional method, I believe that firm, consistent parenting without physical punishment is more effective and less fear-based.

A significant problem Schreier highlights is the overemphasis on feelings in therapy, which she believes leads to a victim mentality. Parents, by sending their children to therapy, might unintentionally convey that they are incapable of handling their child's issues, thus undermining their authority and relationship with their child. This, in turn, may cause children to feel more lost and unsupported.

In my work, I've encountered many parents whose children have been negatively impacted by therapy. One example involves parents whose child became increasingly resentful and difficult after starting therapy. The parents, afraid to remove their child from therapy due to threats of self-harm, found themselves in a worsening situation. Such cases are not isolated; many parents have shared similar stories with me.

Teaching self-government offers a solution to these issues by focusing on action rather than feelings. It involves consistent correction, allowing children to earn extra chores as consequences, and encouraging them to develop problem-solving skills. This method empowers children to take responsibility for their actions and learn from their mistakes, fostering maturity and resilience.

If you find that therapy has harmed your child's psyche and relationships, shifting to an action-focused approach might help. By demonstrating that they can overcome challenges and make choices, you empower them to move forward. This approach counters the disempowerment and victim mentality that feelings-focused therapy can sometimes instill.

For those looking to explore the principles of self-government further, I recommend watching my video, The Not So Known Secret to Parenting Success. Let's empower our children to choose action over excuses and foster a sense of self-government in our families.